The Beauty in Cancer
Cancer is ugly. It's cruel and doesn't play favorites. And last week it took my father-in-law. Yet in the midst of all that our family is going through, I refuse to let something so ugly get the last word. So I'm looking to the beauty in it.
Like how we held each other a little closer since Dad's diagnosis. They say time flies, and it does, but the reminder that life is so precious slowed down the speed of our days. In those moments that we'd normally tear through, I'd sit back and simply watch Dad. Truly see him. His laughter and joy from being in the middle of friends and family. His truly awful one-liners that made everyone groan while his smile grew. The way he'd position everything exactly where it belonged or scrub something until it shined--because it made him happy to take care of items he considered a blessing...and ok, he had a wee bit of OCD in him:)
I created snapshots not only on my camera but in my mind of him playing full-out with the grandkids; they were his joy. I got to tease him over who took more mashed potatoes from Mom's roast. I sat and chatted rather than rushing past, and didn't simply chat but made sure to listen. Best of all I to got to hug him tighter and say "I love you" all those times I may have simply slid out the door with no more than a "see you later".
Cancer allowed me to savor each moment with Dad rather than hurrying past, forgetting how each day we wake up is a blessed gift with those we love. Time became precious and rather than living with a disease, Dad simply lived. And he lived to the fullest. By extension, so did those of us around him.
I have been blessed to call him my father. Blessed by the man he raised who'd become my husband. Blessed by the relationship he had with Mom that gave us a beautiful picture of marriage and friendship. Blessed by the way he loved my kids. Blessed by his love of Jesus that may have taken a few dents but never wavered.
Time does fly, and oh, how I wish we had more of those precious moments here on earth, but we will see Dad again. Of that we are sure. And while cancer may think it won, it didn't. It took too much from us, but it also gave us this strange little gift of slowing down our moments together and making them count for so much more than we ever knew they could. And that's beautiful.
Exactly as Dad's life was. We'll miss you, Dad:) All our love.
Romans 14:8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.